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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22838236">You're My Safe House (And I'm Yours)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedwitchcraft/pseuds/wickedwitchcraft'>wickedwitchcraft</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Wolf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Beta Stiles Stilinski, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Werewolf Stiles Stilinski, but it's a good mess, sterek, these two are a mess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:01:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,448</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22838236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedwitchcraft/pseuds/wickedwitchcraft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Killing the Nogitsune nearly kills Stiles. Scott bites him to save him. Stiles excels at being a werewolf. But there's one thing he hasn't told anyone. A secret hiding in his eyes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>552</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You're My Safe House (And I'm Yours)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>here's another one that had a broken link! i'm glad i came to reread this fic i missed it. hahaha! enjoy guys!!! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The nogitsune hit the floor and turned to dust. Next to Lydia, Stiles fell to his knees, screaming in pain. There was black blood pouring from his mouth as he cried out. Scott ran forward and pulled his friend’s head into his lap.</p><p>            “Stiles. It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” Scott’s voice was frantic and he sobbed when Stiles shook his head.</p><p>            “No it is. I’m gonna save you.” and then quieter, “Do you want me to save you?”</p><p>            Stiles coughed in his arms, blood seeping through his teeth, he took a long shuddering breath, his chest jumping as he struggled to get air. He looked up at Scott, his eyes pleading, but Scott wasn’t sure what exactly they were pleading for. Stiles coughed again, more blood, Scott’s jeans were soaked with it now.</p><p>            “Scott…please.” Stiles choked out, his hand squeezing Scott’s and then falling to the floor. Scott cried out something unintelligible, his friend slipping away right in front of him and then sank his teeth into Stiles shoulder.</p><p>            Stiles was still in Scott’s lap when Derek and Chris burst through the doors and ran to them. They stared down at the boys, Scott not taking his eyes off of Stiles’ shoulder where the marks his teeth had left still lingered. Scott had tried to wipe some of the blood from Stiles mouth but it hadn’t worked very well and he now had a sinister bloody smile stretched across his face. Stiles wasn’t moving.</p><p>            “Scott, what - ?” Derek didn’t really need to finish his sentence, he wanted to, but he didn’t know if he wanted the answer, he tried to concentrate on his hearing instead of the pool of blood that had clearly come from Stiles. He zeroed his hearing in on Stiles, only on Stiles, at first he thought it was silent and he almost dug his claws into his hands, but then he heard it, very faint but still there. Stiles’ heart was beating. It was slow, and extremely quiet, but it was there.</p><p>            Derek knelt down next to Scott, putting his hand on the boys shoulder.</p><p>            “His heart’s beating Scott. He’s gonna be okay.” The way Scott looked at him he could tell he hadn’t been listening for Stiles’ heart beat. He probably hadn’t been listening for anything, thinking his best friend in the world had just died in his arms. He looked uncertain, brows furrowing on his forehead as he looked at Derek. Derek nodded at him, wrapped his hand around Scott’s wrist and placed his hand on Stiles’ chest.</p><p>            Scott deflated when he felt the slow beat under his hand. The tension melted out of everyone around them, Isaac let out a rather large breath, his hands shaking at his sides. Lydia sobbed and fell into Chris’s arms, he held her head against him and closed his eyes. Kira was shaking and rested her head on Scott’s shoulder with something that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a sob, and Derek was staring at Stiles, still covered in blood on the floor.</p><p>            His heart was beating faster now, sounding more like Stiles’ heartbeat. He groaned loudly, his head sliding off of Scott’s thigh, and then he sucked in a huge breath of air and surged up right into a sitting position. He turned and coughed, the last bit of blood in his throat splashing horribly against the white tiles of the floor, his hands propping him up as he continued to breathe in large gulps of air.</p><p>            Scott shuffled forward on his knees, rubbing Stiles back to calm him down. When he finally sat back and opened his eyes Derek was expecting to see them glowing, but they were just Stiles’ eyes, looking darker than usual in the dimly lit hall way. He let out an exhausted sigh.</p><p>            “Well that sucked.” He said dryly, making a face at the taste of blood in his mouth. He looked at Scott who was staring at him and looking guilty.</p><p>            “What? What’s with the puppy eyes?” he looked around the circle of people in the hall and then back to Scott, who was looking at the floor.</p><p>            “I um…I bit you.” He said it quietly, as if he was ashamed of himself. Stiles looked confused for a moment and then put his hand on Scott’s shoulder.</p><p>            “I know dude. Because I told you too.” He was looking at Scott like he was crazy. Scott snapped his head up and relaxed again.</p><p>            “Oh thank god. I wasn’t sure that’s what you meant and then I thought I lost you, so I just went ahead and bit you anyway and then I was worried that you’d be mad at me if it took and it obviously did and oh my god…so you aren’t mad at me?” his eyes were wide and unblinking as he stared as Stiles.</p><p>            “No. I’m not mad at you, you big puppy.” He pulled Scott into a hug and laughed at him. Scott laughed with him and then everyone was laughing. One of those ‘oh my god we all almost just died’ laughs, that was unfortunately becoming quite common among them. Scott hauled Stiles to his feet, helping Stiles walk with his arm around his waist and Stiles’ arm over his shoulder, and they headed for the door, Stiles and Scott in front, Derek, Isaac and Kira behind them, and Chris and Lydia at the back.</p><p>            Stiles and Scott were talking about calling the Sheriff and letting him know everything that had happened, Isaac and Kira seemed to just be enjoying the near silence, Chris was offering to take Lydia home and Derek was staring at the bite mark on Stiles shoulder, the bite mark that had already begun to heal.</p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>            Derek was leaning against the side of the camaro, his arms crossed over his chest when the whine of Scott’s dirt bike caught his attention and he turned his head to see Scott turn onto the street. Kira was behind him, her arms wrapped firmly around his middle, she waved at Derek as Scott pulled into his drive way and they both hopped off. Kira handed Scott his helmet and he hung it on his handle bars before they both made their way over to Derek.</p><p>            “What is it? Is something wrong?” Scott sounded slightly frantic, Derek just lifted a brow at him and rolled his eyes.</p><p>            “No, Scott. Everything’s fine. I was just wondering how Stiles was doing. I haven’t seen him since he was bitten and no one’s said anything about him. Not even the Sheriff. So I was just coming to make sure everything’s going alright. That he’s okay.” Derek had his hands in his pockets, giving Scott a questioning look.</p><p>            “Oh! Yeah, of course! Yeah he’s doing great. Really great, actually, like it’s a little disconcerting how great sometimes.” Scott screwed up his face and looked up into the sky as if he was looking for birds.</p><p>            “What does that mean? Disconcerting how?” Derek was shaking his head and giving him a skeptical look, like he was afraid Scott actually thought he was supposed to know what he was talking about. Scott moved his gaze back to Derek and shrugged.</p><p>            “I don’t know, just, like, he’s learning really fast. Like really <em>really</em> fast. Way faster than I learned anything, and I didn’t even have to teach him half of it, he just figured it out on his own.” He shrugged again. Derek tried not to smirk at him. Of course Stiles was learning fast, he’s Stiles.</p><p>            “But that’s good isn’t it, I mean that he’s learning fast?” Kira was looking at Scott with that cheery hopeful look she had and he smiled at her, looking a bit more relaxed.</p><p>            “Yeah. It is, I’m glad, and proud of him. I just kinda wanted to teach him stuff, but it’s like he doesn’t even need my help that much.” A look of realization crossed his face. “None of this should have surprised me at all. He was the one teaching me how to do things after I got bit and he wasn’t even a werewolf then.”</p><p>            “He’s smart Scott. You know that. He’s gonna learn fast because he went through all of it with you. And there’ll be things he’s gonna need help with, and he’ll come to you, because you’re his alpha. You just have to wait, and be there for him when he needs you.” Derek was smiling at Scott now, and Kira was doing the same at his elbow. She nudged him and whispered an ‘I told you so’ that had Scott rolling his eyes.</p><p>            “Yeah yeah okay. I’ll stop worrying about it. I’m sure you’re both right.” He still looked a bit skeptical but he dropped the argument.</p><p>            “So other than him learning too quickly for your liking, he’s doing okay?” Derek furrowed his brow in concern but relaxed when Scott smiled and nodded. He knew that if Stiles was having a hard time with anything Scott would be the first to know. He also knew that Scott would tell everyone and they would all do their best to help Stiles in any way that they could. Derek nodded, satisfied and turned to get into the camaro.</p><p>            “Hey wait, there is one thing.” Scott called after him as he opened the car door.</p><p>            “What?” his brows were high on his head again. Scott took a few steps closer, stepping out of Kira’s ear shot, she seemed to know that Scott didn’t want her to hear and was very studiously looking at the sleeve of her jacket.</p><p>            “It’s just, he said that his ADHD is still going strong, and his meds aren’t helping. That was literally the only thing he asked about or seemed like he needed help with. But I didn’t know what to tell him, I thought the bite got rid of stuff like that?” Scott had his head tilted to one side and Derek saw yet another example of why Stiles always called him a puppy.</p><p>            “The bite gets rid of most things, that isn’t one of them. I might know of a few things that could help, but it usually depends on the person.” He had a thoughtful expression on his face, like he was wracking his brain for all the things he knew that might help. Scott was smiling at him cheerfully.</p><p>            “That’s great! He should be home. He’ll be really grateful that you know stuff that’ll help. Thanks so much.” Scott patted his shoulder and walked back to Kira’s side, they waved and said goodbye and were inside the house before Derek really knew what happened.</p><p>            He waited a few more minutes for Scott to pop back out the door and say he was kidding, that Derek could just tell him what he knew and he’d pass the info onto to Stiles, but he didn’t come back out, so Derek got in the car and headed in the direction of Stiles house, tying to think of a way to bring it up without saying something like ‘hey I went to Scott to see how you were doing with the whole being a werewolf thing and we stood in his drive way talking about you for a good ten minutes and then he mentioned that your ADHD was kicking your ass, so I’m here to help’. Derek sighed loudly as his phone beeped in his pocket.</p><p>            <strong>Scott:</strong> He’s home. I just checked. Thanks again for helping man, it means a lot.</p><p>            He stared at his phone and thought about telling Scott that he would just write down what he knew and have him help Stiles the next time he saw him, but he sent back a ‘sure no problem’ instead and parked the camaro in front of the Stilinski residence.</p><p>~</p><p>            He had been watching Stiles through his window for about five minutes. He was sitting at his desk, his laptop open, a pencil in his mouth and another in his hand tapping out a furious rhythm on the desktop. He would stare at the computer screen for a minute, scribble something into the notebook on the desk and then resume his tapping. After about two more minutes he looked up at the ceiling with a groan.</p><p>            “Oh my god Derek, just come in or leave, you are driving me insane!” Derek’s foot slipped and he had to grab windowsill to stop himself tumbling off the roof. Once he had himself back together he pushed the window open slowly and climbed through, standing nervously just inside, not really knowing how to proceed.</p><p>            “How long did you know I was there?” he asked the floor, not wanting to look at Stiles, knowing he would probably be smirking at him.</p><p>            “Oh I heard you climb up.” Stiles shot a small smile over his shoulder and then went back to his computer. Derek looked up from the floor to the back of Stiles’ head and narrowed his eyes at the hair sticking up in all directions.</p><p>            “You heard me climb up and you didn’t say anything?” his voice was full of half hearted suspicion. Stiles scrawled another note in his notebook, turned his head in Derek’s direction without looking away from the computer screen.</p><p>            “Yeah.” He said over his shoulder before looking back to his computer once again. Derek sighed, sounding put upon.</p><p>            “Why didn’t you say anything?” he looked out the window to where he had been sitting and then turned back to Stiles. Stiles dropped the pencil on his notebook and spun his computer chair slowly around so he was facing Derek, a small smile on his lips.</p><p>            “I wanted to see how long you’d sit out there.” He shrugged and gave Derek a shit eating grin. Derek huffed and his grin widened.</p><p>            “What? I was just curious about how much creeper you still had in you from the good ol’ days. Were you gonna knock or where you just gonna slide the window up and pounce in?” his smile faded as his eyes darted from Derek to the window and back again. Derek focused his hearing and he could hear Stiles neighbor’s three doors down arguing about what colour to paint the kitchen. Stiles focused his eyes back on Derek before spinning his chair back around.</p><p>            “Oh, and you totally almost fell when I told you to come in, don’t think for a second I didn’t hear that.” He was talking over his shoulder again, his eyes glued to the lightly glowing screen on his computer.</p><p>            “I talked to Scott.” Derek said, because he really didn’t know what else to say, there was a wolf sitting in front of him where there used to be a human and he was a little thrown by it if he was being honest with himself. As soon as the words left his mouth Stiles stiffened and dropped his pencil again, on accident this time. He straightened his back and spun the chair around again, quickly this time, planting his feet on the ground with a thud to stop his momentum, his eyes looking at the floor between them. He blinked a few times before sighing and deflating in the chair.</p><p>            “About my ADHD thing?” he sounded nervous and looked it when he finally looked at Derek. Derek nodded and moved to sit on the bed across from Stiles, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands.</p><p>            “Do know how to… Can you help?” his brow was furrowed and his fingers hadn’t stopped moving on his leg since he dropped his pencil. Derek nodded slowly.</p><p>            “I know a few things that might help. But it also probably depends on what’s distracting you.”</p><p>            Stiles sighed and looked up at the ceiling.</p><p>            “Everything is distracting me. I can smell and see and hear <em>everything</em>. Like all the time. How the hell do you live like this?” his eyes snapped towards the window again, he got up and stuck his head outside.</p><p>            “STOP YELLING ABOUT IT AND PAINT THE KITCHEN GREEN!” He brought his head back inside and threw himself back into his computer chair with a huff, giving the window an annoyed look before looking at Derek who had his eyebrows halfway up his forehead in shock as Stiles’ outburst.</p><p>            “What? They’ve been arguing about that for three hours. It’s just paint. It’s not that big a deal.” He was picking at the seam on his paint leg and he looked a bit embarrassed. Derek cleared his throat and Stiles looked up at him.</p><p>            “So, I think the best solution for you would be to get you focusing on just one sense at a time.”</p><p>            Stiles nodded.</p><p>            “Which is the least distracting?”</p><p>            “I don’t know, they’re all really distracting, that’s sort of the problem.” He spun around in his chair, grabbing a pen of the desktop as he passed and then planting his feet on the floor again facing Derek, spinning the pen in his fingers. Derek watched the pen circle his fingers a few times before he thought of something.</p><p>            “We’re gonna use touch.”</p><p>            “We’re gonna do what now?” Stiles’ eyes were wide and he almost dropped his pen, scrambling forward to grab it as it flipped in front of him.</p><p>            “Your sense of touch. We’re gonna use that to keep you focused on whatever you need to be focused on, so you don’t get distracted by your surroundings.” Stiles was slowly nodding at him now.</p><p>            “Okay. And how do we do that?” he set his pen back on his desktop and looked at Derek with eyes full of curiosity.</p><p>            “Well, you just have to focus on something you’re touching the next time one of your other senses starts to bombard you with information.”</p><p>            “Bombard me?” Stiles mouth twitched into a smile.</p><p>            “Shut up, I’m trying to help you here.”</p><p>            “Sorry. Continue.”</p><p>            Derek gave him a look and continued.</p><p>            They sat on Stiles’ bed and practiced for almost three hours. Derek picking out a noise in the neighborhood for Stiles to pick out and then teaching Stiles how to push it back out again by focusing on something he’s touching. They started out using one of Stile’s pillows but when that wasn’t working Stiles got frustrated and grabbed Derek’s hand. He closed his fingers tight around Derek’s wrist and closed his eyes. He managed to push the sound out and focus back into what was around him, and if the bright smile he gave Derek when he managed it melted the former alphas heart a little, well no one had to know that.</p><p>            After a few more attempts Stiles could use just about anything to focus his attention on. He used a pen, his pant leg, and even a balled up piece of notebook paper that he threw at Derek’s head in celebration afterward. Derek grumbled at him and told him he was leaving if one more thing flew at his head. Stiles straightened his face and nodded solemnly, and then when Derek reached for a book for Stiles to use next he was smacked in the head with a pillow. He left through the window with Stiles cackling manically behind him.  </p><p> </p><p>                                                                        ~</p><p> </p><p>            It had been quite in Beacon Hills since the Nogitsune was dealt with. Stiles was able to focus on one thing at a time without his other sense bursting in on him and making him lose his train of thought. He made Derek cookies as a thank you. Derek was incredibly suspicious at first but after smelling them a few times and giving half of one to Peter first, he decided they were safe to eat, and, after being demanded to via text message, sent Stiles a thank you text. Although he’s still sure that if the person has to demand a thank you, then maybe they don’t deserve one and it also shouldn’t count. Stiles disagrees.</p><p>            Everything is going well for the pack. Until the rogue Omega shows up and kidnaps Stiles’ dad. The pack is running through the woods, following Stiles who is following his dads scent. The boy who ran with wolves so well as a human is now leading the pack through broken branches and fallen trees, crashing through them and jumping over them like they’re nothing. Scott almost runs straight into Stiles’ back when the reach a clearing full of moonlight. Stiles is standing completely still, his muscles tense as he looks in to the clearing at the wolf holding his dad by the back of his neck and smirking at them. Derek, Isaac and Peter circle to the other side of the clearing, cutting off any escape routes for the wolf to go.</p><p>            Scott tries to talk the wolf down, but he gets about two sentences in when the wolf lets go of the Sheriff, hits him in the face, and throws him to the ground. Stiles is on the other wolf in seconds. His claws out and buried in its stomach before anyone else can react. He rips his hand back and the wolfs guts come with it, he howls and throws the body to the forest floor. He looks up at the surrounding trees and sees three pairs of eye glowing back at him. He takes a quick step back, looking wounded and then runs off into the woods.</p><p>            “What happened!” Scott yells as he runs into the clearing, kneeling by the Sheriffs side. Isaac walks over slowly.</p><p>            “His eyes were blue.” He breathes before kneeling next to Scott. Scott snaps his head to look at him.</p><p>            “What? What did you say?”</p><p>            “His eyes were blue.” Isaac repeats quietly. Scott looks up at Derek who nods and then looks off into the woods in the direction Stiles ran. The Sheriff wakes up a few seconds later. He tells them he’s fine, he’s had worse, but Scott tells Isaac to take him back to Stiles’ jeep and call his mom so she can some and get him. Scott and the others run off into the woods to look for Stiles.</p><p>            “How can his eyes be blue? That wolf wasn’t innocent, it killed three people yesterday. Why would killing it turn his eyes blue?” Scott asks Derek as they try to track Stiles down. Derek stops walking and looks at Scott with something close to pity.</p><p>            “That’s not what turned his eyes blue Scott.”</p><p>            Scott tilts his head, once again looking like a puppy.</p><p>            “What do mean? They’re blue that means he-“ his voice trails off and he looks at the ground.</p><p>            “Oh.”</p><p>            “Yeah.” Derek nods.</p><p>            “Why didn’t he say anything? If they’ve been like that since he turned? Why wouldn’t he tell me?” Scott asks sounding wounded. Derek shrugs and looks off into the trees.</p><p>            “You can ask him when we find him.”</p><p>            Scott looks at Derek’s back and sighs.</p><p>            “Yeah alright. Why can’t we smell him? He ran in this direction, we should be able to smell him. He did come this way right?” Scott asks sounding exhausted and frustrated. Derek walks a little further into the trees and crouches down looking at the ground.</p><p>            “He definitely came this way.” Scott walks over and sees what looks like vomit next to the tree.</p><p>            “Oh gross.”</p><p>            Derek laughs out his nose and then starts walking back the way they came. Scott throws his hands up in annoyance.</p><p>            “Where are you going?”</p><p>            “We’re not gonna find him Scott. We can’t smell him, because he doesn’t <em>want</em> us too. You said you were annoyed he was teaching himself everything instead of coming to you right?”</p><p>            “Yeah.”</p><p>            “Yeah, well, it looks like he taught himself how to hide his scent, because it isn’t here. It’s in the clearing back there, and then it stops right outside of it. We won’t find him if he doesn’t want us to, and he clearly doesn’t. So we just have to wait for him to come to us. That’s all we can do Scott, I’m sorry.” He shrugged and walked away. Leaving Scott standing in the dark looking a bit lost.</p><p>                                               </p><p>                                                                        ~</p><p> </p><p>            Derek hears his heart beat before he even slides the door open. He knows he should probably text Scott and tell him he found him, but if Stiles wanted to see Scott he would be waiting at Scotts house, not inside Derek’s empty loft. So he slides the door open and his heart skips a beat. Stiles is standing in front of the big windows and it looks exactly the same as when the nogitsune stood there waiting for them. Except Stiles doesn’t look confident. He’s standing with his arms wrapped around himself staring at the floor.</p><p>            “Stiles?” Derek almost whispers. He walks a little closer, angling his head a bit to try and get Stiles to look at him. When he finally looks up his eyes are glowing that bright electric blue that Derek knows so well. He stares at him for a long time, eyes glowing in the darkness of the loft. After a few minutes Derek feels his eyes flash. The intense stare bringing it out of him like the stare of an alpha would. Derek shivers at the thought of Stiles being an alpha, those beautiful eyes burning red instead of blue. Derek’s eyes fade back to normal but Stiles’ are still burning bright, Derek sees a tear run down Stiles cheek, its trail shining in their glow.</p><p>            “I stare at them sometimes. Just sit in the bathroom and look at them. And I know why I have them. I <em>deserve</em> to have them. But that doesn’t make it any less painful. Seeing the reminder of the people I killed shining back at me in the mirror. I hate them, Derek. I hate them so much.” His voice is eerily devoid of emotion, his eyes fading back to their honey colour as he turns to look out the window.</p><p>            “I tried to claw them out a few weeks ago. My dad was working the late shift and Scott was out with Kira and I was home alone, just staring at myself in the mirror, hating my eyes. It didn’t work, obviously. That healing factor can be kind of a bitch that way huh?” he laughs self deprecatingly and Derek steps forward to stand right in front of him and look him in the eyes.</p><p>            “You don’t deserve them Stiles. That wasn’t you, doing all that stuff. It was the nogitsune. He killed all those people, not you. You have to know that. Somewhere inside you, you have to know. You’re too smart not to.” He had reached out and put his hands on Stiles’ shoulders. Stiles glared at him and brushed his hands away, walking around the table to get away from him.</p><p>            “I’ll tell you what I know Derek. I know that I could have fought harder. I could have tried to stop him. But I didn’t.”</p><p>            Derek took a step towards him.        </p><p>            “That’s not your faul-“</p><p>            “I liked it.” Stiles cut him off, it was almost a whisper but werewolf hearing catches those easily. Derek just stared at Stiles who laughed that horrible self hating laugh again, he even shrugged.</p><p>            “Yeah. I liked it. I had power when he was inside me. I never had power before that Derek. I was just the puny human who everyone was always worried would get in the way or get hurt. But that didn’t matter when he was inside me. I could feel his power running through my veins. And I wanted more. That’s all I could think half the time Derek. That I wanted more power, that I’d do anything to have it. So I didn’t fight him hard enough. And people died. Because of me.” There were tears running down his face now and Derek could see him shaking from across the room. He saw his knees wobble just in time to make it to his side before he fell to the floor.</p><p>            Stiles latched onto Derek’s shoulders and Derek lowered him slowly to the ground. Stiles looked up at him and sobbed.</p><p>            “You wanna know the worst part?” he asked, his voice shaking. All Derek could do was nod.</p><p>            “When I was dying in Scott’s arms. I don’t know if I begged him to bite me so I could live or if I begged him to bite me so I could be powerful.” He sobbed again.</p><p>            “It’s okay Stiles. You’re okay.” Derek soothed, holding him close to try and stop him shaking.</p><p>            “I don’t know if I am though Derek. I’ve thought about it a thousand times since it happened and I can’t remember why I asked for the bite. What if I only did it cuz I wanted power? What if I turn into a monster like Peter was. I don’t wanna be a monster Derek. Don’t let me turn into a monster.” His nails were digging into Derek’s arms as he scrambled for purchase on Derek’s shirt. Derek just pulled him close and let him sob against him.</p><p>            “You aren’t gonna turn into a monster Stiles. Your heart’s too good for that.”</p><p>            Stiles was wracked with sobs again, they stayed that way for awhile, Derek holding Stiles close as he sobbed on the floor. Stiles quieted down but they stayed like that, wrapped up in each other on the floor, sitting in silence. Stiles took a deep breath and pulled back, giving Derek a weak smile.</p><p>            “Thanks. I- sorry.” He stood up and brushed invisible dust off his pants. Derek smiled and stood up next to him.</p><p>            “Anytime.”</p><p>            Stiles smiled again, bigger this time, walked over to the couch and threw himself down on it with a sigh. Derek followed him like there was a string attached to him and he couldn’t help it. He sat down at the other end of the couch and just watched him for a minute.</p><p>            “Can I tell you something?” Derek asked, Stiles looked at him with wide eyes and nodded.</p><p>            “It’s something my mom told me. After I – after my eyes turned. She told me that a wolf’s eyes didn’t reflect his character. That no matter what colour my eyes were, that I was still beautiful. And I just, I don’t know, I feel like that applies to you. Just because your eyes are blue and not yellow, that doesn’t make you any less of a person. You’re still a good person Stiles.” He looked up from the spot on the couch he’d been talking to, to see Stiles smiling at him. Stiles looked down at his lap when Derek looked at him, his cheeks flushing a like pink.</p><p>            “Thanks Derek. You’re mom sounds like she was a smart lady. A smart lady who could easily kick my ass.” Stiles looks at Derek again, still smiling. Derek laughs and nods, opens his mouth to say something when they both hear a noise up stairs and turn to look, Derek growling low in his throat when he sees Peter coming down the spiral stairs. He looks at them and mocks a startled expression.</p><p>            “Hey boys. I wasn’t aware we had company.” He stalked slowly over to them, his eyes dragging over Stiles, Stiles staring at his lap again.</p><p>            “I knew you’d make a good wolf.” His hands came down on Stiles shoulders slowly. As soon as they touched the fabric of his hoodie Stiles was on his feet, his hand around Peter’s neck, holding him off the ground easily.</p><p>            “You don’t get to touch me. <em>Ever</em>.” he spat the last word in Peter’s face and then threw him across the loft, his body slammed into the door. He was on his feet again in seconds, claws out and shifted. Stiles was shifted too, his eyes burning and his fangs looking dangerous as he growled at Peter. Derek stepped between them, pushing Peter backwards and opening the door. He threw his uncle through the door and closed it again, locking it before turning back to Stiles who was on his hands and knees on the floor, dragging in shallow breaths of air.</p><p>            Derek went to him and rubbed his back like he’d seen Scott do a few times, until Stiles calmed down. He sat back on his haunches then plopped down into a sitting position, flailing a bit as he threw his legs out in front of him.</p><p>            “Jesus I’m a mess today.” He breathed, rubbing the back of his neck. Derek laughed though his nose.</p><p>            “I think you’re entitled to be a mess every once in awhile.”</p><p>            “Fuck yeah I am.” he looked at Derek and then laughed. He got up again and shoved his hands in his pockets and took a few hesitant steps toward the door.</p><p>            “Listen, Derek. Thank you, for listening. I should probably go before Scott has some kind of aneurism. I’ll see you later.” He turned to unlock the door.</p><p>            “Why’d you come here?” Derek blurted before he could stop himself. He grimaced before Stiles turned around to look at him.</p><p>            “I don’t know. I just, I feel safe here, with you. I always have, even before I was all wolfy. I just… you make me feel safe. So I was running away and I ended up here. There wasn’t anyone else I wanted to be around right then. So I came here, to be with you.” He stood looking at Derek for almost a minute before his eyes widened like he was just realizing what he said.</p><p>            “So, I’m gonna go, and bury myself in my backyard and never socialize again because my brain to mouth filter is obviously just fucking with me now. So yeah, bye.” He waved awkwardly, turned to pull the door open, groaned when it wouldn’t move, unlocked it and then pulled it open with a flail and disappeared.</p><p>            Derek stood staring at the empty space in front of him for almost five minutes until his brain caught up with what had just happened and what Stiles had said. He ran to the window but Stiles was already gone. He grabbed his keys and ran downstairs to his car. He wasn’t sure if Stiles would be home or not but that’s where he headed anyway, figuring he could wait for him in his bedroom if he had to.</p><p>            He got to the Stilinski house and quickly realized that he was indeed home, as was his dad. He could hear a movie playing on the TV down stairs, and the Sheriff talking on the phone to Melissa. He walked to the front door and rang the doorbell. He heard Stiles heart rate pick up and the Sheriff head for the door. He opened it, smiled at Derek, waved his hand in the general direction of the stairs and headed back into the living room, never once stopping his conversation with Scott’s mom. Derek smiled back and headed upstairs.</p><p>            He stood outside Stiles door and knocked.</p><p>            “No one’s home!” came Stiles’ sing songy voice from the other side of the door.</p><p>            Derek knocked again.</p><p>            “For reals, there is nobody here, please leave a message after the tone, beeeeeeep.”</p><p>            Derek could hear Stiles shove his head back into his pillow. He knocked again. And smirked when he heard Stiles swear and throw his covers off, schooling his features when Stiles swung the door open wildly.</p><p>            “Oh my god what!?! I literally just saw you like half an hour ago.” He looked tired, more tired than he had at the loft, his eyes were looking a little wild, but it was all Stiles, no wolf. Derek just looked at him until Stiles raised his eyebrows aggressively.</p><p>            “Can I come in?”</p><p>            Stiles gave a long suffering sigh but stepped back and waved him into the room. Derek stood next to the window, completely silent, while Stiles stared at him. He looked up at Stiles like he was asking for help but Stiles just shrugged at him. He sighed and looked at the floor.</p><p>            “I feel safe with you too.” It was almost inaudible. He was going to repeat it when Stiles stepped into his space. Derek looked up him to see him looking back with an open expression.</p><p>            “I’m gonna try something okay?” he asked as he stepped forward again and rested his hand on Derek’s chest. Derek just nodded at him, making Stiles smile a little. Derek was about smile back when Stiles lips were pressed to his and then everything was Stiles. Stiles was all he could smell and feel and taste. He moaned and Stiles pulled him closer licking into his mouth as Derek wrapped his arms around his waist. Stiles pulled back, dragging a displeased grunt from Derek, and smiled at him looking punch drunk.</p><p>            “Yeah, I knew we’d be fucking great at that.” He sounded extremely smug. But Derek didn’t have time to respond to him because he was being ordered to take off his shoes and anything else he didn’t want to sleep in. He ended up in just his boxers being manhandled onto Stiles bed. Stiles jumped into bed next to him and flopped on top of him, nuzzling into Derek’s chest with a please hum.</p><p>            “I guess I’m staying here tonight.” Derek drawled out even as he started moving his hand up and down Stiles’ back soothingly. Stiles snorted against him</p><p>            “You’re damn right you are. It took us fuckin ages to get here, I’m not about to let you leave. And just so you know, if I wasn’t about to pass out from exhaustion I’d totally be sexing you up right now.” He was drawing circles on Derek’s chest with his finger.</p><p>            “You’d be sexing me up huh? Is that as good as it sounds?” his voice was dripping with sarcasm and Stiles popped his claws out and poked him in the side. Derek jumped and Stiles snorted again.</p><p>            “Hell yeah it is. I’m gonna blow your mind with my sexy skills, I mean I’ll blow other things too.” He stiffened next to Derek and then sat up and looked at him.</p><p>            “I mean, only if you want to. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.” He looked incredibly sincere and worried. Derek poked him in the nose and pulled him back down on top of him.</p><p>            “I definitely want to. But thanks. Now go to sleep before you say the words ‘sexing you up’ again.”</p><p>            Stiles snuggled closer to him and Derek could swear he was purring. Derek was just about to fall asleep when Stiles whispered “I’ll sex you up so good.”, before falling asleep, his mouth hanging open against Derek’s chest. Derek nuzzled into Stiles hair and fell asleep smiling, feeling safe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!!! Any and all (nice) comments are loved and appreciated! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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